the start of something new

8:13 PM em 0 Comments

     As I come closer and closer to my 18th birthday I am realizing many things, all of which are scary.
1. that I am actually growing older
2. things are about to change, some for the better, others for the worst
3. c o l l e g e
and the list goes on. But, with all these changes that are to come, I realize disappointment is also a monster I will have to battle. With great change comes turmoil along the way. With rejection letters, and struggling to maintain current grades, while trying to keep up socially, it is all a bit overwhelming. I find myself sliding  into a slump i'm trying to avoid falling into. But, in order to succeed and learn, do I allow myself to fall into this slump? Are we supposed to fall and fail completely to learn and succeed, or can we look and see it in our path and try to avoid it?

     Along with rejection letters, as a literal rejection, life has also give me metaphorical rejections. No one likes to be rejected, so how do we avoid or deal with the pain of rejection and change while still trying to swim above the water? Well, for starters, I have learned holding on to the positive  and surrounding yourself with the good really helps. As life rushes forward, friends come and go, events will happen that I must prepare for. I am trying to also prepare myself for things that may not be. I believe some friendships can remain after high school, I do a pretty good job with keeping up, but I know that sometimes, people just drift. The people I have surrounded myself with have such golden souls, that the thought of losing contact with them actually hurts. They have become some sort of weird family I have gathered along the way.

     As time changes things, I am trying to grasp the idea of loss, gain, rejection, pain, + the newness life will bring me. Most of all I do not want life to change me, I am content with my morals and heart, I do not want this world to turn me bitter. As all of these thoughts (and then some) rush through my mind daily, I know that I have a greater calling and wont let the darker things of life darken my bright spirit.